Where would you most like to spend the holiday season?
The Grinch: On my private yacht, sailing across an ocean of fresh Who tears.
When was the last time you visited a barber?
The Grinch: When was the last time you minded your own stinkin’ business?
What would you like to say to Santa Claus?
The Grinch: Hey, four-eyes. The people may love you, but they’ll never respect you.
How do you like your roast beast cooked?
The Grinch: “Cooked”?!?
What is the interior design theme for your cave?
The Grinch: Mid-century modern. I love clean lines.
Should they open a ski resort on Mount Crumpit?
The Grinch: Absolutely! I’d love to see a Who experience a compound fracture.
Has Max ever given you fleas? Or vice versa?
The Grinch: Not fleas, but one time I gave Max a raging case of dehydration. It was a learning experience. Science now says dogs need water. And science is real, people.
What is your skincare routine?
The Grinch: Start with sandpaper, add a splash of Tabasco, and scrub.
What is the best gift you’ve ever received?
The Grinch: One time, Max was buried in an avalanche for over a week. The silence I received for those 9 glorious days is a gift I’ll cherish for always.
What is your FAVORITE holiday? And aside from Christmas, what is your LEAST favorite holiday?
The Grinch: FAVORITE: Mother’s Day, because watching mom’s get disappointed is something that warms my heart. LEAST FAVORITE: Thanksgiving. Every year I get excited for the big parade, and every year I can’t remember why.
How did Max get his name?
The Grinch: I gave it to him. It’s actually short for Maximus McWorthless Stinkface, but I refuse to say the whole thing. Syllables exhaust me.
Do you/have you had any other pets?
The Grinch: I had a pet turtle named Snapple, but I accidentally deliberately threw him in the trash.
What is your favorite holiday meal?
The Grinch: Gyros and pita chips, with a Diet Mountain Dew.
What is your favorite holiday tradition?
The Grinch: Surrounding myself with scented candles, and screaming into the ether.
What is your favorite sport (to watch and/or participate in)?
The Grinch: Boxing. I like watching people fall down and not get back up.
What are some of your hobbies?
The Grinch: In my spare time I enjoy telemarketing, littering, and bonsai pruning.
What tips do you have for people who want to be more grinch-like?
The Grinch: Give up. You’ll never be me.
What’s your go-to karaoke song?
The Grinch: Anything by Carrie Underwood.
If you could remake any movie and insert yourself as the starring role, what movie would you pick?
The Grinch: The Parent Trap.
What books would you recommend to anyone who wants to hole up in a cave with their dog?
The Grinch: “Eat Pray Love”.